Life as a 20-something visually impaired girl

People are often interested in what I do for a living, how I got my degree then went on to get a job, what I do for fun and the general questions that you ask a person in their 20’s. Add a vision impairment and it makes for some pretty interesting questions…

 

Growing up everyone has struggles, but even more so for disabled people. You spend your teenage years figuring out who you are, what you want to do in life, where you want your life to go, and figuring out friendships and relationships, but imagine adding a disability into the mix, well that’s the reality for many of us…

 

Having a vision impairment has meant that I’ve had to adapt many aspects of my life in a world which wasn’t made for people with a vision impairment, or any disability for that matter. I often say that we live in a predominantly sighted world because I think we do; the world wasn’t exactly made for disabled people was it? Things have improved a lot compared to years ago, but there are constant accessibility issues and barriers that we face. Nothing is ever perfect and having a disability is a good example of that.

 

I’m not going to lie, living with sight loss can be a battle as I’ve had to fight for the support and services that I’m entitled to, but also figure out my own personal journey with my vision impairment. It can also be very rewarding and it does not mean that I can’t live the life I want to.

I’m not one to sugar-coat anything so I wanted to give an honest and accurate representation of what it’s like to live with a vision impairment in your 20’s.

I’m speaking from my own personal experiences, this is not representative of every blind or visually impaired person as we’re all different, but I’m hoping that some people might be able to relate or you may even take something away from this post.

 

Friendships

Things are never smooth when it comes down to friendships, whether you have a vision impairment or not. We all learn who our true friends are, and we all have rough patches.

My vision impairment is not the only reason why I’ve had a few bumpy roads with friendships, but it has contributed to people’s perceptions of me which has played a part in my friendship groups. People have sometimes seen me as different or maybe even been frustrated by my disability, but as the saying goes: ‘those who don’t mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind’.

I was never part of the ‘cool’ crowd at school and I never wanted to be, I’d much rather have a few close true friends than a group of fake ones, it may sound cliché but it’s the truth.

Now that I’m in my 20’s, I’ve figured out who my true friends are and have a good circle of friends.

 

Some people assume that blind and visually impaired people only have friends that also have a vision impairment, this is not true at all. I have a mixture of friends with a vision impairment and some that are sighted. In fact, the majority of my friends are fully sighted.

All of my friends are amazing in their own ways, regardless of whether they have a vision impairment or not. I feel very lucky to have such a supportive group of friends who love me for the person I am, they understand my disability but know that it isn’t the only thing that makes me who I am.

 

Relationships

People have a wrongly perceived idea that disabled people can’t be in a relationship, or only date other disabled people. That’s like saying that sighted people can only date other sighted people, and we all know that’s not the case, so why do disabled people have to be different?

Let’s clear this up.

We can date whoever we want to and our disability doesn’t determine who we are in a relationship with.

 

One other ideology that I see popping up on my social media time and time again is that if disabled people are in a relationship then their partner must be their carer and there is no way that they are in a relationship. Whilst they may help us with various things, this does not make them our carer, disabled people can still be in a relationship, despite needing a bit of extra help and support, they love us for who we are.

 

So, to sum it up: disabled people can be in a relationship, just like non-disabled people.

 

One question that I get asked is ‘do you want a boyfriend that’s sighted or a boyfriend that has a vision impairment?’ And my answer is always the same ‘does it really matter?’

It’s not a question that you would ask a sighted person so why does it make a huge difference for me?

 

Socialising

There is no doubt about it, people have seemed surprised when I tell them that I can ride a bike, can swim, can play the flute, regularly go out with my friends and do all the stuff that my sighted friends do.

Having a vision impairment does not mean that I can’t have a social life and can’t have hobbies, it doesn’t stop me from doing the things I want to.

 

Night life

Many disabled people including myself have received questions such as ‘do you go on a night out even though you’re blind?’

Believe it or not, yes, I do go out.

I’m not into clubbing or partying but I will happily go out for a few drinks with my friends. I struggle in loud pubs and clubs because I can’t hear what people are saying, but I don’t think that would be my thing if I was sighted anyway.

To clear that misconception up, yes people with a vision impairment can go on nights out and we can have a good time. You can’t beat going out for a few cocktails with your gals!

I always have a lot of fun when I’m out with my friends.

I don’t drink loads but I always have fun regardless.

 

Independence

I’ve always been a very independent person, I think that’s just the person I am. It’s no secret that I have struggled with aspects of independence in the past and this mostly was because of my vision impairment, but I overcame it all.

Picking up and using the long cane wasn’t something that came naturally to me, I used to think that it made me stand out and made me look different, it’s something that you wouldn’t see people my age using unless they had a vision impairment like myself, but I soon realised that my cane was my independence and that nothing else mattered. I think this was also a lot to do with my lack of confidence when I was in my teens, as my confidence grew, so did my independence.

 

I would very much like to be able to drive, to hop on a train whenever I want and go wherever I want to without planning it in advance, but it’s important to remember that I can still be independent even though I often have to plan ahead.

 

I’m beyond grateful for the experiences that I have, I’ve visited so many wonderful places including New York, seen some of my all-time favourite artists live and even met one or two of them, and for me those are the memories that I’ll treasure forever.

 

I may have to arrange assistance in advance or ask a sighted person to go with me somewhere, but knowing that I’ve arranged it and had an amazing time in the end is the best feeling.

My parents have always encouraged me to do the things I want to do and taught me to be independent, so a lot of it is down to them.

 

I travel on trains to meet up with my friends, and have even travelled on a plane by myself, so I definitely don’t let my vision impairment stop me from living a fulfilling, enjoyable and independent life.

I have the freedom to do the things I want to and also make memories along the way with my friends and family.

 

Employment

I know how hard it can be to find a job when you have a disability, but I also know how rewarding it can be when you get a job that you love.

Disabled people face many barriers when looking for a job and getting on the career ladder. When I graduated University and was in that exact position, I came across jobs that I couldn’t do because of my vision impairment, I applied for jobs, got interviews but didn’t get the job. I even considered doing Postgraduate study or changing my career path completely.

 

Then everything changed.

 

I got a job at the University that I graduated from, if someone had told me that I’d end up working there, I would have probably laughed because it’s something that never even entered my head, but I’m so glad I do. I’ve been able to build my portfolio, have some brilliant experiences and learn new skills.

 

Having a disability means that you learn unique skills such as being able to use a wide range of assistive technology, learning braille or how to use a long cane, so it’s important to use these skills to your advantage, show employers what you can do, not what you can’t do.

 

Some people may say that I’m very lucky to have a job, especially as I’m blind, but I’ve worked extremely hard to get to where I am today and it certainly wasn’t down to luck. All of my achievements are because of hard work, determination, motivation and dedication, without all of that, I would have never achieved all of the things that I have.

I’m not the type of person to sit at home doing nothing, I like to be busy and I like to be active, I always try to have a positive mindset and I think this has helped along the way.

 

As you can tell, my life is different to a 20-something sighted person’s in some ways, but in other ways, not so much. I went through mainstream education, got a degree, now have a job and make wonderful memories with my family and friends, as well as doing the things that I enjoy.

 

Having a vision impairment has given me a different perspective on life to sighted people my age, it’s given me a set of challenges that I’ve overcome and skills that I’ve learned.

I may have to adapt things but it does not mean that I can’t do them to the same standard as sighted people.

Being able to do the same things as sighted people is something that is incredibly important to me.

Having a vision impairment means that I have to think about how to make things accessible and how I’m going to achieve my goals and aspirations, but that isn’t, and doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It also doesn’t take away me having the chance to have experiences like my sighted friends, many of which I’ll remember forever.

 

People often focus on the negative aspects of sight loss, but it’s so much more than that, it has so many positives, and it’s about embracing it all.

We all have stuff that we have to contend with, challenges we face, having a vision impairment adds to that, but it also puts a whole other perspective on these things.

 

There are times where I wish I was sighted, but most of the time I’m ok with being blind and I am beyond grateful for the opportunities it’s given me, sight loss has opened so many doors that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

 

Having a vision impairment does not take away my vision to achieve and succeed in life. It doesn’t take away my passion to strive, to achieve my goals and have a happy and successful future, and it doesn’t take away the chance for me to have experiences like my sighted friends.

I’m just your average 23-year-old girl who loves music, going to concerts, beauty, fashion and all the usual girly stuff, but I just happen to be blind.

 

How do you embrace the things that make you different within your age group? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.

 

Holly x