30 things I’ve learned in 30 years as a disabled person

Disability has always been part of my life. It’s shaped how I see the world and how I understand myself.

There’s a lot of things I wish I could have told my younger self – about acceptance, community, identity, setting boundaries, and finding disabled pride. It took me a long time to learn about those. It’s all contributed to where I am today.

When you scroll through my blog archive, you’ll find pages and pages covering some of the heftier topics about disability.

I’m stripping it back this time. There’s no better time to do that than reaching a big milestone.

 

So, to mark my 30^th birthday, I’m sharing 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years as a disabled person.

They’re lessons which have become little reminders that I tell myself sometimes. I’m hoping they might help some of you too.

I’m dedicating this blog post to my twin sister, Natalie. She was taken from us far too soon, and the world sadly didn’t get to see her become all she was meant to be.

Turning 30 didn’t feel complete without you here. I know you’re by my side in everything I do.

This one’s for you, Nat.

 

Deep breath.

Let’s sit and share a few lessons then, shall we?

 

1. Be who you want to be, not who others expect you to be.

Go and design your own path.

 

2. Disabled is not a bad word.

It’s part of who you are, and not something to hide. Say it with pride.

 

3. It’s okay to feel defeated by your disability sometimes.

Societal barriers take their toll. You’re only human after all.

 

4. You don’t have to justify your accessibility needs.

You deserve to have the same access as everyone else.

 

5. Your independence doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s.

No matter what it looks like, it’s still independence. Do what works for you.

 

6. You don’t have to overcome your disability to succeed.

In fact, your disability can be part of your success.

 

7. Using a cane is empowering, despite what you might first think.

It’s your freedom. Hold on to that.

 

8. You can do it, even when the world tells you that you can’t.

You’ve proved people wrong time and time again. Keep going.

 

9. Accessibility isn’t a privilege, it’s a right.

Keep fighting the good fight.

 

10. Things will feel much clearer when you let go of internalised ableism.

You weren’t born hating your disability, the world taught you that. It was wrong.

 

11. Society needs fixing, not you.

You are never the problem.

 

12. You don’t owe anyone your medical history.

You’re allowed to say no. Stand firm in setting those boundaries.

 

13. Asking for support isn’t a sign of weakness.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t do something. You’re still doing it, just with a helping hand so you can give it your best.

 

14. The social model of disability changes your perspective entirely.

The barriers come from society, not because you’re disabled.

 

15. Rest is just as important than being productive.

It’s necessary, not optional.

 

16. Not everything is your fault.

You’re not to blame if something isn’t accessible. Stop apologising when you don’t need to.

 

17. You’ll find your people.

They’ll see both your disability, and the person you are beyond it. They’re the best cheerleaders.

 

18. Not everyone will get it, and that’s okay.

As much as you enjoy educating others and raising awareness, you can’t educate everyone.

 

19. It’s more than okay to laugh at your misfortunes.

Those blind girl moments are what keeps your world spinning sometimes. They might even give you a little chuckle when you need it most.

 

20. You don’t exist to inspire others.

You’re not a life lesson for others to consume.

 

21. You’re allowed to take up space.

You have a place here. Own it.

 

22. There’s nothing inspirational about surviving an education system that wasn’t made for you.

It’s a test in resilience, but it shouldn’t have to be.

 

23. Having a disability will make you a natural problem solver.

Embrace the skills it has taught you.

 

24. Your lived experience is powerful.

It gives you so many opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise. No one can take that away from you.

 

25. Celebrate the small accessibility wins.

Purchasing something online independently, passenger assistance going to plan on your train journey, or discovering a restaurant has braille menus. Make the most of that feeling.

 

26. Even though your disability doesn’t define all of you, it’s a part of you.

It makes you who you are.

 

27. There’s beauty in community.

Connecting with others who just get it can feel like a comfort blanket sometimes.

 

28. Advocacy comes in many forms.

Whether you’re one of the louder voices or quietly taking part in the background, it matters.

 

29. You’ll learn to love your differences.

You’ll reach a feeling of acceptance and be content with life as a disabled person.

 

30. Everything will fit into place.

Take a minute to think about how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. You’re smashing it.

As I step into my thirties, I’m proud of the person I’ve become.

I’m still learning, still growing.

This list makes me reflect on how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve still got to give.

 

Here’s to the next 30 years of growth, acceptance, and a whole lot of disabled pride.

Holly x