I don’t want to overcome my disability, and I never will

I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t see into the future. One thing’s for certain: I’ll never want to overcome my disability.

In all honesty, whenever I see mentions of overcoming or defeating your disability, I internally shudder. I actually find it quite hurtful. Despite what society thinks, being blind isn’t terrible. It’s quite the opposite.

At the time of writing, it’s 2024. Yet somehow, disability is still frequently presented in a negative light, something we need to banish. In truth, it’s the misconceptions that need eradicating.

It’s not my disability that bothers me, it’s the attitudinal and societal barriers that are the biggest blocker. If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know those words are a reoccurring theme that find their way to my blog posts. That in itself speaks volumes. We still have a long way to go. By having these conversations, I believe we’re making progress.

I recognise that we all feel differently about our disability. My thoughts and feelings are vastly different to the next person’s.

To me, having a disability is a scale of emotions. It’s shaped my life in ways I never could have imagined. It’s contributed to the person I am today. It’s even helped to forge a huge percentage of my life. That’s why I’ll stand firmly and tell you that I don’t intend to overcome my disability. I never have, and I never will.

 

Taking ownership of my disability, not overcoming it

If you’d have asked me 10-15 years ago whether I was comfortable with my disability, I’d have probably given you a faint nod, weakly smiled and said a polite, albeit hesitant, yes. I was comfortable with it in parts. Comparing that to now, I wasn’t comfortable at all. Even so, I still had no desire to overcome it.

Over the years I’ve embraced every pillar of my vision impairment. That includes pushing against the societal norms and finding my voice as a disabled person.

I used to be the quiet one at the back. Now I’ll speak up for myself and others. Both my disability and I have flourished. Taking ownership of my vision impairment is at the core of that.

 

My disability isn’t going anywhere. Whether I choose to think I’ve overcome it or not, it’ll always dictate my life. From eye pain and fatigue to a lack of accessibility, it’s something I can’t control. It’ll always be there. Sometimes it presents itself loud and proud, sometimes it lurks quietly in the background.

It’s not about how I perceive it, it’s taking ownership of the fact that my disability is an inherent part of my life. It’s integral to everything I do. I have no desire to overcome something that makes up a huge part of my identity. If I did, it’d be stripping away a layer of my being.

 

Perceptions vs reality

There seems to be a divide between the perceptions of society, and that of disabled people. Non-disabled people tell us the stories of those they perceive to have “overcome their disability” to achieve incredible things. I know they mean well, I really do. Even though I know they’re meant with good intent, I can’t help feeling uncomfortable when I’m on the receiving end. I’ve spoken at length before about why I don’t want to be your inspiration simply for being disabled, and everything I said in that post applies here.

Those stories don’t give me the motivation to try harder. What they fail to recognise is said person’s circumstances are different to mine.

Everything we achieve is down to our abilities, rather than overcoming something that’s part of who we are. At least give us the credit for that.

 

There’s also the rhetoric of disabled people being lazy. If I’m not to be seen defeating my disability, I’m said to be lazy. The idea of disabled people being lazy goes far beyond what I can write in this post. What I will say, is this stereotype has to stop.

Disabled people aren’t lazy. It’s the societal barriers that don’t give us equal access. That means we have to work harder and fight for the same rights as everyone else. No amount of overcoming our disability can hide that fact.

 

So, when people talk about someone overcoming their disability, I wish they’d focus on the barriers that society puts in our way, rather than dismissing our disability. Those obstacles are the real challenges that we’re navigating on a daily basis. There’s much more than you don’t see.

I also wish they’d take a moment to think that some of us don’t want to overcome our disability.

 

What overcoming my disability means to me

Overcoming my disability means that I’m disregarding something that’s one of the biggest parts of who I am. It tells me that my disability should be dismissed, something I know that’s not the case. It’s telling me that I shouldn’t be disabled.

It reinforces the medical model of disability that I’m the problem, not society.

To overcome my disability tells me that my vision impairment is something to be ashamed of. I’m proud to be disabled. I don’t want to be made to feel anything less.

 

It always baffles me when people tell me that a disabled person has overcome the obstacles, or they’ve defied the odds.

I haven’t overcome anything. My achievements are down to my hard work, not because I’ve overcome something to get here. I don’t want to dismiss the fact that a lack of accessibility and societal barriers have made it harder at times. Even when I thought some of my goals might be off limits because of those barriers, I still haven’t achieved them because I’ve overcome my disability. It’s always present. It’s etched in my mind, whether that’s due to needing reasonable adjustments or needing to navigate something differently. If I was to disregard those, I’d be presenting myself with even more challenges. All in the name of conforming to society. That’s not for me.

 

I haven’t done anything despite being disabled. What I have done however, is navigate the challenges that an inaccessible society presents me with.

I’ve had a lifetime of people grading me as less than my sighted peers. I guess you could argue that I’ve achieved more than any of those people expected. That’s down to my hard work and being driven to prove them wrong, rather than conquering a part of my life that doesn’t need to be defeated in the first place.

 

To overcome my disability implies that it’s an accomplishment. If I haven’t accomplished it already, then I should set my sights on doing so. If I don’t defy the expectations set upon me and my disability, I haven’t tried hard enough. Society tells me that I therefore need to try harder.

I don’t want that achievement held against me. I would never hold it on that level because it’s something I’m not aiming to achieve. It’s not on my list of goals, that’s for sure. It’s completely unrealistic, and entirely untrue.

I’m disabled. The conversation should end there. Nothing more needs to be said.

 

I took some time to reflect on how I’ve been subject to people’s desire for me to overcome my disability for as long as I can remember. When people find out that I was born prematurely at 24 weeks, they tell me that I defied the odds. Maybe I did in a medical sense. Everything else is down to my hard work and determination. That’s a far cry from the result of gaining some superpower and overcoming my disability.

 

My feelings towards my disability have changed significantly over the years. One feeling that’s always been the same is my defiance that I have nothing to overcome when it comes to my disability. I’m not giving up or being lazy, I’m embracing every part of it. Knowing my disability inside out means that I’ve reached a point of acceptance. I’ve learned to understand that I can’t, and don’t have to do everything, even if society makes me feel like I have to prove myself time and time again. Perhaps most importantly, I’ve realised that I can live a happy, successful life just the way I am.

 

With all that said and done, I’ll go back to an earlier point: I don’t intend to overcome my disability. I never have, and I never will.

 

How do you feel about the concept of overcoming your disability? Do you have a love/hate relationship, or do you let your feelings be heard?

Holly x