How I learned to accept my disability

My vision impairment is one of the main focuses of my blog, it’s something that I’m passionate about, something that I could probably talk about for hours, it’s really important to me so it’s something I want to raise awareness of.

 

Having a vision impairment is all that I’ve known so I have plenty of experiences to share and a lot of advice to give. There is an endless amount of topics that I want to talk about regarding vision impairment and disability. I can only hope that by speaking openly about my experiences and educating others, that the notions surrounding disability and vision impairment can be broken down and disability becomes something that society starts to normalise.

 

Today’s post is something that I’ve been thinking about recently. A few weeks ago my Shawn Mendes VIP concert experience post caught the attention of Shawn fans on Twitter, according to my friends it ‘went viral’ and ‘blew up Twitter’, I received various messages from fans saying how amazing I was for sharing my experiences, for being so open about my disability and for giving them a bit of an insight into meeting one of your favourite artists and attending a concert when you have a disability. There were some messages that really stood out for me, I was contacted by some fellow disabled fans that said that they really admired me for accepting my sight loss and for being so open about it on social media, they asked how I did it and my answer was very honest: that hasn’t always been the case, I didn’t talk about my vision impairment on social media for a long time.

All of that really got me thinking about how I learnt to accept my vision impairment, and how I became to be so open about it, because things haven’t always been that way.

 

Everyone’s story is different, you may have had your disability since birth, or it may all be completely new to you, either way, acceptance is key.

 

There was a time when I was a quiet, shy, not very confident young girl, would you believe it now? Was I fully confident with my disability? Far from it.

Did I see it for what it was? No I didn’t.

Did I embrace the skills it taught me? Sometimes, but I could have embraced them so much more.

 

Accepting a disability is a journey in itself, it may be difficult but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.

I think accepting your disability can be wonderful, it’s a way of looking forward to the future, it shows that you are determined and have strength to look past it and that it’s possible to live a happy and fulfilling life despite the challenges you’ll face and hurdles you’ll have to jump over.

 

So how did I accept my disability?

I’m hoping that this post will help some of you that are on the journey of acceptance and that you may be able to relate to it in some way.

 

Sight loss is all I’ve ever known

Regular readers of my blog will know that I’ve been blind since birth due to a condition called Retinopathy of Prematurity, I have a detached retina in my left eye and only have light perception in my right eye, meaning that I have no useful vision.

As sight loss is all I’ve ever known, I don’t know any different, I don’t know what it means to have any useful vision and I can only imagine what it’s like for people that are losing their sight. Growing up with my condition has helped in many ways, I’ve adapted aspects of life to fit my needs, I’ve faced hurdles and challenges and learnt the best way of dealing with them. This has all become like second nature to me and it’s something that I got used to over the years, especially as I got older.

 

Understanding my condition

The older I got, the more I learnt about sight loss and also my eye condition. I think understanding your condition is crucial when accepting a disability. It’s important to ask questions, ask professionals questions, ask people around you questions and ask other disabled people questions. If you don’t ask you don’t know.

 

As I got older, I started to understand my condition more, and understand how it affects my life. In 2016 I started to have complications which were a result of my condition, I wanted to have an idea of exactly how this would affect my life, so I did my own research as well as speaking to my consultant. I would often attend eye appointments with a list of questions jotted down in the notes app on my phone, this really helped me understand it better and grasp it.

I also feel like having a good understanding of your condition helps you to educate people on it and really give an insight as to what it’s like living with a disability.

 

Finding other people in a similar situation

Growing up, I didn’t really have any friends with a vision impairment, but when I was 18, I spent a week at a specialist school for people with a vision impairment, and I met other blind and visually impaired people that were my age, this was when I made other blind and visually impaired friends.

Blogging also allowed me to connect with other disabled people, talking to others helps a lot as you soon realise that you’re not alone.

This was a turning point for me.

 

Becoming an active member of the disabled community

This isn’t for everyone, but it can really help when accepting your disability. Becoming an active member of the disabled community means that you can ask questions, get advice from others, get tips on all aspects of living with a disability, share your own personal experiences and just generally have a good chat with everyone. I have always found the disability community to be very supportive, I especially love being a part of the community on Twitter. I’ve also made some great friends as well.

 

Being an active member of the disability community also means that you can keep up-to-date on everything that’s going on – from the latest tech news, to new and exciting gadgets and the latest research. You can also contact organisations and charities as well if you need to.

 

Being surrounded by people that look beyond my disability

Living with a disability means that you will face many judgements and assumptions by non-disabled people, people’s misconceptions can make you feel frustrated, upset and angry but it’s important not to let them get you down, it’s how you deal with them in a positive way and prove those people wrong.

There are many people that will treat us differently, or may not even acknowledge us at all, and hold preconceived ideas, but on the flip side there are also people that treat us like they would anyone else and accept that everyone is different, and unique in their own way. These people look beyond my vision impairment, they understand that it is a part of my identity, but they see me for the person I am, rather than letting my disability be the first, and the only thing they see. Surrounding myself with these people has always helped me on my own personal journey with my disability.

Surround yourself with people that love you for who you are.

 

Talking about my vision impairment

I’ve become so much more open about my vision impairment over the years, and I think talking about it has definitely helped me to learn to accept my vision impairment. I’m not afraid to talk openly about it, share both positive and negative experiences in order to help others in a similar situation, and also educate non-disabled people. There’s something very comforting about hearing first-hand experiences that you can relate to.

I don’t give it a second thought when my disability comes up in a conversation or when talking about it on social media now.

 

Find a way of expressing yourself

Personally, for me this was through music and writing. these may not be for you, but it’s important to find a way of expressing your emotions and thoughts and feelings. Find something that you’re passionate about, this could be something such as music or art, finding a way of expressing it can help. This is often a comfort for many people.

 

I used to play the flute and was in a band for many years, I was given a few opportunities of doing solos. Having such opportunities meant that I was treated like every other band member, I was proving to myself that I could play an instrument and learn braille music despite having no useful vision and that nothing could stop me.

Listening to music has been something that I’ve done since I was little, it always helps no matter what I’m feeling.

 

Writing is something that has also helped me when trying to navigate life with a vision impairment. Since starting my blog, I’ve become a lot more open about my disability. Sharing my experiences has allowed me to connect with others in the same or similar situation.

 

Finding the positives

Believe it or not, living with a disability does have many positive aspects. I’m a positive person so I think this has helped in terms of my sight loss. I could talk for ages about the positives that come with having a disability because there are so many, it’s important to remember that.

My vision impairment has made me a much stronger person and made me see the world from a different perspective.

 

Embracing my disability

I started to see my disability for what it really was and embrace the skills that it has given me. I realised that it gave me a unique perspective on life and that isn’t a bad thing.

Having a disability is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone is unique in their own way.

 

Realising that my disability isn’t the only thing that defines me

I talk about this topic rather a lot because I think it’s important. My disability is often the first thing that people see when they meet me, meaning that they’ll judge me or make assumptions about me based on my disability, rather than the person behind it. If people choose to judge me for it then there’s nothing I can do about that. It’s important to remember that there are people who love me for who I am. My disability isn’t the only thing that defines me, I have my own likes and dislikes, I have my own personality, my own hobbies and interests and my own aspirations and having a vision impairment doesn’t take that away from any of us.

 

Being open and honest

I am very lucky to be surrounded by family and friends who will support me in all aspects of life, from my career to blogging, or lift me up when I’m having a down day.

Find people you trust and tell them exactly how you feel. Opening up can be scary but it is so much better than bottling everything up. Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re struggling, it isn’t a weakness. There is nothing wrong with needing a bit of help.

 

I fully accept my vision impairment and embrace the unique skills it’s taught me, the perspective it’s given me on life and the community that I’m able to be a part of because of it.

I know that everyone goes on their own journey of acceptance, and it is different for every single person, some may find it easy whilst for others it may be a rollercoaster.

 

I really hope that this post has helped some of you out there. Remember that you are so much more than your disability. Despite the stigmas and common misconceptions surrounding disability, life isn’t always negative, life can be truly wonderful when you have a disability.

How did you accept your disability? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you. You never know, your story may help others.

 

Holly x